Relational Therapy
Relational therapy with Calm in Chaos Therapy caters to every relationship, whether monogamous or ethically/consensually nonmonogamous. Often it is assumed that if a relationship needs extra support it is destined to fail. The opposite is true - relational therapy can take a relationship to new heights through increased empathy and understanding. Relationships evolve and seeking extra support through relational therapy is both admirable and courageous. Relational therapy makes it possible for partners to reconnect.
Relevant training: Emotionally Focused Therapy Externship completed, Relational Life Therapy Level 1 in progress, and Internal Family Systems Intimacy from the Inside Out in progress
Relational Therapy can help partners:
Communicate more effectively
Engage in healthy conflict
Empathize with their partner(s) experience
Increase secure attachment
Explore personal and shared relational values
Develop co-regulation skills
Increase physical and emotional intimacy
Consider and explore parts that become triggered during conflict
Heal from betrayal trauma, including infidelity, and other relational ruptures
Explore the impact of past trauma on the current relationship
Understand how differences in attachment styles impact the relationship
Relational Therapy Approaches
Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
Developed by renowned couples therapist, Terry Real, LICSW, RLT is an approach that focuses on inner child healing in relationships, considers the role of shame and grandiosity in relational distress, explores the impact of trauma in relationships, and identifies partners’ adaptive and maladaptive strategies in relationships. As a collaborative approach, clients can expect their therapist to take an active stance in therapy and to gently challenge each partner to examine their perspective and empathize with their partners’ perspectives.
Relevant training: RLT Level 1 training in progress
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFTC)
EFTC, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is an attachment-based approach to relational therapy that maintains that relational distress is caused by a negative cycle of interaction that prevents partners from empathizing with one another. EFT reiterates the importance of partners’ emotions and the impact of attachment styles in relationships. The goal of EFTC is to increase secure attachment through increasing partners’ ability to access, respond to, and engage with their partners’ vulnerable emotions fueled by unmet attachment needs.
Relevant training: EFTC Externship
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Couples
ACT is a cognitive-behavioral approach to therapy that focuses on mindfulness, values exploration, and implementing values-directed behaviors. When adapted to work with couples, it focuses on partners’ schemas or core beliefs (e.g., fears of abandonment) about how they navigate relationships. When relational schemas are triggered, partners behave in distinct ways which will be identified and explored in therapy. Gaining clarity on personal and relational values provides partners with insight and shared meaning and purpose in the relationship. In
Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO)
IFIO draws from Internal Family Systems (IFS), psychodynamic theory, systems thinking, and neuroscience. Developed by renowned IFS therapist and trainer, Toni Herbine-Blank, IFIO aims to assist each partner in turning inward, instead of blaming their partner(s). By exploring and understanding parts of them that become triggered in relational dynamics and resourcing self-compassion and self-love, partners are then able to relate similarly to their partner with love, understanding, and compassion.
Relevant training: IFS Institute IFIO Program in progress